The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.

This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing
again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I’m
doing.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a
pound. Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with
chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they’ll say,
‘Well, he looks good doesn’t he.’

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

You could run this over to your friends; but why not just e-mail it to them?

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information
in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy
Hour, and by the time I leave, I look just fine.